Jack Vernon’s “Heart Attack on a Plate” Fettuccine Alfredo

Best served: In a kitchen next to a closed laundry room door and a trash can filled with empty soda cans. Yields 4 servings. For authenticity, try to get into an argument about academics, the Latin origin of a prefix, or the Eagles last loss.

Pairings

• Show musico
• A bottle of Budweiser

Ingredients

• 5 1/2 oz. Butter, unsalted
• ⅛ cup Flour
• 1 cup Heavy cream
• 1/2 cup Parmesan, grated
• 1/2 cup Romano, grated
• 2 cloves garlic, mashef
• 8 oz. Grande Ricotta
• Kosher salt
• Coarse ground black pepper
• Parsley
• One lb Boxed fettuccine noodles

Instructions

• Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Sauté garlic.
• Add flour and cook for 2 to 3 minutes.
• Add heavy cream; stir constantly until butter-flour mix is incorporated and smooth.
• Add Parmesan, Romano, and Ricotta; stir until melted.
• Bring sauce to a simmer and cook for 7 to 10 minutes stirring constantly.
• Add salt and pepper to taste.
• Cool before serving, allowing sauce to thicken.
• For tradition, serve over cheap boxed noodles.